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♥Wednesday, February 24, 2010♥

Ohh , seriously . I`m in tears now )':
I`m having lotsa problem now . & I dont knw how to . All i can is pray hard to God .
Why must the problem came 1 by 1 ? & other problem was not settle , came another problem .
Its soo difficult to tell all my problems to my friends .
Idk why -.- Mayb i`m not ready .
Yes , you can see me not showing tht i`m upset . I may showing you all my hyper-ness , smiling here & there & laughing all the waay in schl . But , u dont even knws inside my heart how am i feeling right .
Cos , i`m not the type who likes to show my emotional to ppl . Idk why .
Its seems weird to me . Well , only God knws .
Firstly abt HIM . Yes , him . Who knws its good uh . If dont knw just find out urself .
& yes , today i had a bad dreams abt him . Seriously , with tht dream making more missing him alot & the feeling like wanting hijm bck . Idk why . Aft the dreams , I was excited to see him in schl but then just now he didnt came schl cos he sick ? I think ? Just now went schl wift Tweynnih . So yeah , story to her abt my dreams & i cried . Idk why I cried . Argh . This is the first time I cried infront of Tweynnih . Cos , i dont show her my sad-ness before . Argh .
Oke , i`m gonna story my dreams .

Me & Hafidz were planning to meet tgt .

Idk why he wanna meet me .

So yeah , we meet beside the schl & it was raining .

& suddenly , frm behind theres a person went to hug me hardly .

I was shcoked & looked bck .

It was him , Hafidz .

I cried out of sudden cos i`m touched by his warm hug & missing him alot .

I miss all the pass wift him & all he does to me .

I was really sad until i push him away & just walked off with tears kept coming out .

I went to run & hide to 1 place .

I wanna see whether he looking fr me .

But then , he went to hug wift another gerl .

I was veryvery upset . & think bck .

Whats the hug fr ? & why is he hugging tht gerl ?

I guess , he had tht gerl & would just leave me & live happily wift the gerl .

So , i guess . He need not need me anymore & why shld i live anymore ?

I was soo stressed & i feel like killing myself .

So , i went to the road side waiting fr car to knocked me down

& stand there with all my shirt wet .

I close my eyes with my hands hold tgt cos i saw a car coming .

When it getting near , suddenly there`s person who pull me frm my waist & hug me tightly .

I opened my eyes & saw it was him , Hafidz .

He said

" Bhy , jgn tinggal kn i . I nk u balek . I nk kiter cm dulu . I maseh sygkn u . "

He cried & I cried too & he hugged me tightly .

Frm there , I woke up & shocked .

See tht I was crying .

Lots of tears was on my cheeks . More & more tears coming out cos i rewind all my dreams & i cried . It was a memorable dream tht i ever had !

Frm there , i kept thinking of him & missing him lots .

I cant imagine I dream sucha dream & i find it veryvery weird . Cos , before tht . I was like thinking of him badly , our sweet memories , what he said to me with all his promises , what he done to me & misses him badly . I cant help myself but cry only . Until , i cant take it & went to sleep quickly . Cos , i knw . Im the type of gerl who if i`m stress , cry or getting away frm any prob , i will sleep all the waay . & i will sleep it will took a long hour fr me to wake up . I wish when i sleep , i will never wake up again ...

Well , bck to my post . Secondly , today I get news frm my mum tht my favourite untie yest had a checked-up on KK & the doctor told her tht she having a cancer on her stomach .
She had to operate on her stomach as there`s soo called 3 'tumbuhan' .

I`m gonna pray hard fr her . Seriously , ilove her alot . Be strong untie !
There`s more probs but , i think . I cant tell tht prob as it`s a personal to me . I`m sry guys .
Well , i think its gonna be a short post fr today .
I`m not having mood in elaborating what the past few daaays or weeks been in schl . Other time yeaah ?
If i`m in a good mood or i`m not lazy in posting . Well , today I only post & fb . I didnt bloghopping . No mood . View my dearest pehh blog pon i didnt . Idk why . Just no mood . This is the only day i log on to blogger . Cos , the previous weeks & days , i didnt even log on to blogger . No mood .
TTM , thanks fr making me smile fr a moment & i cried bck coz ure making me touched by waht u said ! ThankYouTTM ! I Love You soo much ! Dont get this wrong . I love my TTM as a TTM only . You've been always there fr me & help me wift all my prob . Ure been sucha a good , caring & nice TTM to me (:

I`m done . B.Y.E

♥WithLoves, N' Azatil Aisyah
@ 2:51 AM